Mercenary Writer's Press*

6 Writers Who Accidentally Crapped Out Masterpieces

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 01:06:20 -0400

6 Writers Who Accidentally Crapped Out Masterpieces:

Consume as many bran muffins as you are able to inhale in the span of time it takes you to read the linked article. Prepare for greatness.

Mental Health Break: Kutiman, The Mother of All Funk Chords. We...

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 23:53:00 -0400

Mental Health Break: Kutiman, The Mother of All Funk Chords. We defy you to listen without smiling.

NCBI ROFL

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:27:00 -0400

NCBI ROFL:

Like a Fail Blog for biomedical research articles. If you can’t find the germ of a story idea squirming around on the hilarious petri dish that is NCBI ROFL, you just aren’t trying.

"Consciousness will always be one degree above comprehensibility."

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 18:49:13 -0400

“Consciousness will always be one degree above comprehensibility.”

- G̈̈ӧsta Carl Henrik Ehrensvӓrd

Tools of the Trade, on tap edition (image via Futility Closet)

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:07:56 -0400

Tools of the Trade, on tap edition (image via Futility Closet)

Science fiction's contribution to the life of English

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 20:30:00 -0400

Science fiction's contribution to the life of English :

This is a DOUBLEPLUSGOOD article. Please enjoy it and excuse our absence as we depart to have some victory gin and strangle a prole.

And now a MWP mental health break from our sponsor, Wilkins...

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 01:39:00 -0400

And now a MWP mental health break from our sponsor, Wilkins Coffee: Wilkins Coffee—drink it! Or else… (via theduty)

"If you really want to hurt your parents and you don’t have nerve enough to be homosexual, the..."

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:58:22 -0400

“If you really want to hurt your parents and you don’t have nerve enough to be homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts.”

- Kurt Vonnegut

Lit Juicing

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:52:52 -0400

Lit Juicing:

The Great American Novel is one syringe away. Tragically, we are unable to benefit from this chemical breakthrough due to a lifelong aversion to sharp things and acne. Sigh.

Unless they are all copies of this one. (via icanread)

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:47:25 -0400

Unless they are all copies of this one. (via icanread)

Person or Unperson. Query.

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:41:00 -0400

Hamlet’s “to be or not to be” soliloquy, rendered in Newspeak by J.A. Lindon:

Person or unperson. Query.
Unbellyfeel Ingsoc, oldthink, ownthink,
(PLUSUNGOOD THOUGHTCRIME. PENALTY: UNLIFE)
Or Ingsoc foolthink doubleplusungood
Own unlife bellyfeel, make self unlifer,
Unperson, unofficial. (PENALTY: JOYCAMP)
Only unwake: become unlifer. (FOOLTHINK)
Unwake, and thusby unperform our Ingsoc duty
(GOODWISE NOTE: BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU)
Seems goodthink (DOUBLEPLUSUNGOOD THOUGHTCRIME).
Unwake: become unlifer.
Unwake — ungoodwise dream (PLUS-CERTAINFUL
SELF-BRINGED RESULT) –
Yes, there is the unsmoothness –
Correctful treatment in the Miniluv,
Post fail-maked self unlifer with a cord,
Is allsuch stopful — yes, there is the reason
We still goodwise perform our Ingsoc duty
Until we’re vaporized, although (CRIMETHINK)
Unbellyfeeling Ingsoc and Big Brother,
The Junior Anti-Sex League, rationed goods,
Sternness of Inner Party and its just
And ungood “watch and query” note on us,
We seemcould oldthink “free” perhaps become
With a bigneedle. (FOOLTHINK) Who would work,
Prolewise and sweatful, doubleplusunfresh,
For Ingsoc if he bellyfeeled to know
Correctful treatment in the Miniluv
That joyful place from which so few return,
And those how bigwise changed? Plusgooderwise
We live goodthinkful til some Spy reports us,
For IGNORANCE is STRENGTH, FREEDOM is SLAVERY,
And WAR (against the Party) brings NO PEACE
Inside the Miniluv till we become
Unpersons (now OFFICIAL). But unhard!
The clingful and face-crimewise-good-to-see
Ophelia! Joysexful girl, forget
My many faults in your Two Minutes Hate!

(via Futility Closet)

5 Kickass Lessons Books Could Learn from the Movies

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 18:36:35 -0400

5 Kickass Lessons Books Could Learn from the Movies:

We get the impression that the author of this article is not entirely joking. Or perhaps we’re just projecting. Read. Laugh. Repeat as needed.

The Importance of Editing, Neon edition [We find the glowing...

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 18:33:00 -0400

The Importance of Editing, Neon edition

[We find the glowing green ATM sign a charming addition to the photo’s overall composition and message.]

Writers and Poets Run Israeli Newspaper, Journalists Take a Vacation

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 17:49:16 -0400

Writers and Poets Run Israeli Newspaper, Journalists Take a Vacation:

We find the inherent separation of journalists from writers in the linked article disheartening—do we not all worship at the same altar of ABC? Are the grammatical rules of the journalists really so different from our own? Can’t we all just get along?

"If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ‘em!"

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 17:43:23 -0400

“If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ‘em!”

- John Waters, dispensing valuable Friday night advice (via Let Us Read and Let Us Dance)

"I’ve had 18 straight whiskies … I think that’s the record."

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:35:40 -0400

“I’ve had 18 straight whiskies … I think that’s the record.”

- Last words of Dylan Thomas

Nobody’s Perfect (via marctonysmith)

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:33:57 -0400

Nobody’s Perfect (via marctonysmith)

"Either that wallpaper goes, or I do."

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:32:50 -0400

“Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.”

- Last words of Oscar Wilde

The typist's tale of 'Last Tycoon'

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:30:24 -0400

The typist's tale of 'Last Tycoon':

A secretary’s account of the last days of F. Scott Fitzgerald.

A Monday theme emerges…

Dead End (via AgentZ92505)

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:29:00 -0400

Dead End (via AgentZ92505)